Wednesday, November 11, 2009

my nature loves a vacuum

maturity isn't a critical incident
a dirty needle
I don't know what happened
I'm now mature

mastercard minutes
sirens of coffee

Mount more
sin faces

none of them, shaped like a god

Friday, November 6, 2009


we need a cliche for drop dead burning eyeball fatigue anger. don't we?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

damned anyway yankee

I'm asking Jeter into my heart. Jesus had the last 35 years. or so. Its time to walk to the mound and take the ball away.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

movie idea

Johnny Scat
A magic toilet comes alive in another Disney Animated Classic! From his seat, even a rear-view mirror can tell who is the fairest of them all.
With his Pals, Corn and Peanut, they bring a family back together again in this magical adaptation of Montezuma's Revenge.


why can't we all just get abong?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

off the dendritic wall tv show ideas

1. Peter Bunion
- A detective named Boots, of course, hunts down socks while wearing bonnets. Set in Tudor England. 

2. Polly Wanna Gansta? (18+)
- A cat, Rob Lowe, and a wise-guy pickle find themselves in a land without crackers or milk. Every email that has ever been sent follows them as they race chariots. They discover cross species sexual pleasure. 

3. Out With A Bang
- Contestants need to decide quickly between IUDs and IEDs. 

4. Love Me Tender
- A steak narrates abattoir stories of redemption and renewal. Set in 1950's Ohio. 

5. Your Place or Mime. 
- Pick up artists compete for white-faced asinine losers. 

6. Providence Hands Down 
- Contestants present entrepreneurial ideas to retired pedophiles and God. 
  Theme song by Raffi. 

7. The Biggest Boozer
- Fritos Presents!! Evenings of salty stories and chips washed down by Kentucky Bourbon. Good times. 
  Theme song by Raffi. 

8. The Shawinigan Redemption
- A former Prime Minister breaks out of his gender prison. Implants, medication, and waxing are all part of the hilarious and touching process. 

9. Married With Chickens
- A disgruntled shoe salesman leaves the city for a life of barnyard intrigue. Chuckle and cluck along with Mr. Hapless as he learns interpersonal and sexual skills from his favourite rooster, Leonard. And also, his daughter is a whore. 

10. ron 
- a 41 y/o, overweight white male lives with the knowledge that back hair and a secret yearning for self-transcendence as a vengeful Super Hero is not sexy. Watch as he self medicates in bewilderment, aware that his patina of civilized normalcy is dissolving. 
Theme song by Raffi.